July 11, 2002
Beelzebud speaks

Beelzebud speaks Larry wants to know what I think about this story that two MLB teams might not be able to meet payroll. Well, first and foremost is that I never believe a word that Beelzebud Selig says. Here's a man who, after Forbes challenged his fuzzy math, responded by calling the magazine a "tabloid". When he's too busy to lie, he sends one of his top assistants to do it for him. If Bud Selig tells you that the sky is blue and that water is wet, the odds are that you've been unknowingly transported into an alternate universe in which those things aren't true.

That said, one team that's had cash flow problems for awhile is the Arizona Diamondbacks. I suspect that David Stern would have words for Jerry Colangelo if his straits were that dire, so I wouldn't put too much credence into this. Larry has since posted a report that the Tigers may be such a team, but again, until I see actual proof, I don't believe a word that Selig says.

One of these days I need to write my How I Would Run Things If Baseball Got Wise and Named Me Commissioner Instead Of That Two-Faced Lying Rat Bastard They Have Now manifesto. I suppose I have to decide what my manifesto is first. Details, details...

Oh, and by the way: Larry Simon is a Norse God

(See here if you're confused.)

Posted by Charles Kuffner on July 11, 2002 to Baseball