Let the hagiography begin!

Well, the Texans won their debut NFL game yesterday, which can only mean one thing: The Chronicle has gone into hype overdrive, with a complete special section on our new beloved hometown heroes, surely the greatest thing this town has seen since the invention of silicone.

OK, OK, I'll stop. I watched most of the game last night. The Texans played pretty well, and beating the Cowboys is always a good thing. I'm sure I'll eventually warm up to them. But please, for $DEITY's sake, will someone please gag Fran Blinebury? I dare you to read this excerpt without giggling:

It was huge, bigger than all of Texas and even bolder than anyone could have imagined.

It was tastier than a corny dog at the State Fair, the wildest ride since they shut down the mechanical bull at Gilley's.

The Texans came out like old-time gunslingers, their six-shooters blazing and served notice there was a new marshal in town.

All I can say is thank God Dale Robertson was off covering the U.S. Open. I don't think I could have taken Dale 'N' Fran's Excellent Texans Coverage this morning with my Cheerios.

One comment about the game: The announcers noted that the Kansas City Chiefs were once known as the Dallas Texans, and that in 1962, the Texans played a memorable double-overtime game against the Houston Oilers for the AFL Championship. What they didn't mention was the infamous mistake made by Texans' running back Abner Haynes, who blew the coin toss, giving the Oilers the ball and the wind at their backs to start the first overtime. Thankfully for Haynes, a great if mostly forgotten running back, his error didn't affect the game's outcome.

Posted by Charles Kuffner on September 09, 2002 to Other sports