Jerry! Jerry!

Once again I marvel at The Onion's ability to stay ahead of the satire curve as I read this story about Jerry Springer, who's contemplating a run for US Senate in Ohio in 2004.

Springer, a Democrat, said he'll decide by summer whether to challenge George Voinovich, a Republican who has said he'll run for a second term in 2004.

He acknowledged that his nationally syndicated "Jerry Springer Show" could work against him. Guests divulge their intimate secrets — and frequently strip down to their intimate apparel — on episodes with titles like "Your Lover Is Mine!" and "Explosive Betrayals!"

"Intimate apparel" must be some code for "bare-assed pixillated nekkidness", without which products like this would never make it to the market, let alone be top sellers. But whatever.

"There are pluses and minuses," Springer said. "The plus is that I'm known by everybody. The minus is that I'm known by everybody."

Springer figures it would take $20 million to beat Voinovich and as much as $5 million to win a Democratic primary.

"I have the resources," the 59-year-old millionaire said Wednesday night before speaking at the winter meeting of the Ohio Democratic Party Chairs Association.

Springer is a former Cincinnati mayor and councilman who lost the Democratic primary for governor in 1982 and considered running for the Senate in 2000. He said he also may run for Cincinnati mayor in 2005 or governor in 2006.

"I want to be helpful in rebuilding the party," he said. "Whether I have to be a candidate is a totally separate issue. ... I don't need a job."

Well, hell. If Ted Nugent can think about running for Governor in Michigan as a Republican, I guess Jerry Springer can think about running for Senate as a Democrat. I don't think it'll do much to help the national ticket, but I won't be surprised if conditions are such that the result is preordained one way or the other, so I may as well have something entertaining to look forward to.

Posted by Charles Kuffner on January 24, 2003 to Election 2004 | TrackBack