June 26, 2003
The Savage Weiner
Today is Appropriate Michael Savage's Name For Your Own Purposes Day, and after reading Neal Pollack's opening salvo, I just know that I can't compete. Hell, looking at Pollack and Atrios and Blah3, I didn't even realize that the serious playas would be, like, redesigning their sites for this. Still, I promised that I would do something, so I'd better do something.
But then I figured the poor boy would be under such an unrelenting assault from America-hating liberals all day today that maybe I'd exercise a little compassion. So I took a little trip down to the public library and checked out a copy of his book Savage Nation and spent last night reading it. As a public service to you, I hereby present the Top Ten Nice Things About Michael Savage That You America-Hating Liberals Didn't Know But That I Now Do From Having Read His Wonderful Book:
10. He has the complete works of Judy Garland on VHS and where possible on DVD.
9. He's an accomplished dancer, especially when going backwards and in high heels.
8. He once saved John Derbyshire's life after Derb was bitten on the ass by a rattlesnake.
7. His favorite pet is a declawed gerbil he got from Richard Gere.
6. He enjoys going to the park with George Michael and going to the theater with Pee Wee Herman.
Well, OK, I lied, there were only five nice things about Mr. Savage Weiner that I could find in his book. Maybe his next book will have more.
Have a happy Appropriate Michael Savage's Name For Your Own Purposes Day, and if you hear from Savage Weiner's lawyers, be sure to refer them to this guy.
UPDATE: Forgot to mention that this post is in support of Take Back the Media, Michael Savage Sucks, and Savage Stupidity, all of whom have been sued by the Savage Weiner.
Posted by Charles Kuffner on June 26, 2003 to General snarkiness
I'm still thinking about what I can say that will possibly be dumber than things he's already saying. Some people are beyond parody.
"Well, OK, I lied, there were only five nice things about Mr. Savage Weiner that I could find in his book. Maybe his next book will have more."
OK, I'm bored. That's not a good thing, since I start to think about "things". In keeping with the "things" mentioned, I'm suprised some of these weren't mentioned:
1. Likes to visit tall buildings and see the erections.
2. Likes to eat foot-long weiners.
3. Owns a collection of three dollar bills.
4. Is an aficianado of the Christopher Street (NYC) and Castro Street (San Francisco) nightlife.
5. Is often confused for sex advice columnist, Dan Savage
6. Thinks the last Sunday in June should be declared a national holiday.
7. Loves the movie "Pretty in Pink".
8. Wants to be one of the Village People.
9. Thinks Nathan Lane should run for president (or be declared a saint).
10. Doesn't really hate anybody. In fact, he thinks everyone is just fabulous!
Do I sound bored enough for you?
In a late breaking related development, the US Supreme Court has just struck down the Texas sodomy law, saying it was an unconstitutional invasion of privacy.
a reader of mine says:
weeners address is 16 lark court
drop him a line !!
i have no idea as to the veracity of this information, nor do i endorse sending prank letters through the mail, which, i believe, is a federal offense.