August 11, 2004
"And I'll never have that recipe again"
What can one say about VH1's list of the 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs?
1. There are about a half-dozen or so songs on this list that I like, for some value of the word "like", anyway. There's no point in getting worked up about that, since any subjective list will gore some people's oxen. And no, I won't admit in public which of these songs are the ones I like.
2. I know it's been over ten years and the original list was extra-heavy on atrocities from the 60s, but does anyone really think it's possible to improve on the Dave Barry Bad Song Contest? Cause I don't.
3. Having said that, if one were to insist on updating this classic, putting Julia in charge of it would be a good move. Do not get into a Battle of the Bad Song Lyrics with Julia. She'll kick your ass.
4. For a different take on the Song Badness issue, Pete brings you his list of When Bad Songs Happen To Good CDs.
I guess that's about it.
Posted by Charles Kuffner on August 11, 2004 to Music
what does Vh1 know? do they even play music anymore?
whatever. there are songs on there that i liked and still do to some extent...
Now, wait a second. How can VH1 miss the following annoying classics:
- You're Having My Baby - Paul Anka
- Copacabana - Barry Manilow (actually, anything he's ever done is annoying)
- I'm a Little Bit Country .. - Donnie and Marie
- You Light Up My Life - Debby Boone
- Rhinestone Cowboy - Glen Campbell
- My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion (actually, anything she's ever done is annoying)
- One Hand in My Pocket - Alanis Morrisette
I can't let that pass unchallenged: Celine Dion's Le Ballet is a great Bluesy Swing, and otherwise inoffensive.
Nothing to see here - move along.
A lot of the songs on VH1's list are merely mediocre. Can't say I like them, for the most part, but few really bring out the raw hatred in me like "Having My Baby," etc. above. And are any of these songs really worse than "Macarthur Park" (which can't even be parodied into something decent, despite the best efforts of Weird Al) or "Honey" from Dave Barry's list - let alone all 50 of them?
None of these lists ever mention my personal demons, so I will: "Good Morning, Starshine" (Huey Dewey Louie, Ross Perot is screwy - OK, that line isn't really in the song, but it should be - it'd be an improvement), and Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart!"
Finally, here's a list I'd like someone to tackle: how 'bout the 10 Worst TV Theme Songs? I'll start it by nominating the themes from "Friends" and "Enterprise," but I'm sure you can come up with plenty that are even worse.
the Austin Lounge Lizards took a whack at Honey - Laura is a prostitute in Ozona, whereever that is
and then one day the angels came
and took my Laura far away, so I believe
although I never wrote or called
I don't think it was fair at all for her to leave
so I lie here in the gutter
and occasionally I mutter her name sweet and low
Golly gee I really loved her though
I never really cared enough to tell her so
And Honey, I miss you
and I'm feeling crude
I'd love to be with you
all alone in the nude