August 22, 2004
Does this blog post make my butt look big?
Three words: Buttock augmentation surgery.
"It's everywhere now," said Yadira Yanez, a 30-year-old mother of three who recently underwent buttock augmentation to get a fuller, rounder tush. "It's on TV where you see people that have done it and made their lives change. Everybody's doing it. It's like carrying a cell phone."
Let me just say that I have discovered the natural way to a fuller, rounder tush. Admittedly, my method does not limit its effects to only the tush, but on the plus side there are no expensive, messy, or painful medical procedures involved. Details available upon request.
Posted by Charles Kuffner on August 22, 2004 to Society and cultcha
I'm shocked. You should race into the ladies room and stick your finger down your throat for just thinking what you're thinking.
Round asses on women whose vertebrae aren't clearly visible through their turtlenecks aren't sexy at all.
De clunibus magnis amandis oratio
magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri.
quis enim, consortes mei, non fateatur,
cum puella incedit minore medio corpore
sub quo manifestus globus, inflammare animos
The scariest part is that the "ideal" body type keeps changing. Making one's buttocks bigger is a new fad. So, I'm guessing the popular plastic surgery about 10 years from now is gonna be, what, buttock augmentation implant removal? Sheesh. I've got a wacky idea, people - eat well, get some exercise, and BACK AWAY FROM THE BEAUTY MAGAZINES! (As it says in the "Everybody is Free to Wear Sunscreen" song - "Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.")
"It's on TV where you see people that have done it and made their lives change. Everybody's doing it. It's like carrying a cell phone."
Am I the only one wondering how this person arrived at this statement?
I may be a bitter old man with no chance of ever having a relationship with a woman, but I do recognize that there is a lot more to them than their body parts. Besides, if I want to see silicon, I'll open my computer.
I suppose this would be the wrong forum in which to discuss the difference between silicon and silicone?
Although, you can very likely view some silicone by opening your power supply (which I DO NOT recommend), since they occasionally use a silicone based adhesive to stabilize larger components.
I guess I live in the Stone Age...I've got a flat ass and no cell phone.
And to think, all this time I thought I was happy.