October 24, 2007
Scaife v Scaife

Oh my God. This story of the incredibly messy, vicious, and tawdry divorce fight between right-wing sugar daddy Richard Mellon Scaife and his second wife Margaret Ritchie Scaife, is the guiltiest pleasure I've had in awhile. Just read this bit, in which Ritchie tries to reclaim the dog that was swiped from her yard:

On the afternoon of April 6, 2006, Ritchie stopped her car when she spotted a housekeeper of Richard's walking Beauregard in the neighborhood. Game on. The cops later said that Ritchie punched 51-year-old Sue Patterson, then tried to grab the dog. A secretary of Richard's, 77-year-old Genevieve Still, saw Ritchie and Patterson on the ground, with Ritchie on top, pulling Patterson's hair. When she tried to intervene, Still wound up with "a swift kick to the lower back," she told police. Then a security guard named Dennis Bradshaw got in on the action and took a slap to the head, which reportedly broke his glasses.

Ritchie did not win this one-on-three suburban cage match, nor did she manage to grab Beauregard. She did, however, get arrested, again, this time for assault. All three of Richard Scaife's employees went to the hospital, where they were treated for scratches and bruises, then released, the Post-Gazette reported. A judge eventually dismissed the assault case, though personal-injury lawsuits by the employees are still pending.

Beauregard, by the way, still lives with Richard.

You just can't make this stuff up. All you needed was a lily pond and you'd have had Krystle versus Alexis, the sequel. Read and enjoy, and try not to feel too dirty afterwards for having enjoyed it. Link via TPM.

Posted by Charles Kuffner on October 24, 2007 to Society and cultcha