May 21, 2008
Pigeon wars!

Some stories are so goofy that all you can do it sit back and marvel at them.

The dossier spills over into two drawers of files full of hand-scribbled notes, maps marked with sharp black dots -- and snapshots of a shadowy figure, scattering bird seed. This is Laura Dodson's nemesis.

There was a time when Dodson went after the crack dealers in her Hollywood neighborhood with such a vengeance that city officials honored her with a plaque. Now, she has declared war on another urban scourge. For three years, she has enlisted snitches, set up overnight stakeouts, appealed for help from city leaders and the police.

Her quarry? Pigeon lady Susie Kourinian, the furtive form in the photos.

Kourinian is no ordinary bird lover. She earns her seed money as a seamstress to the stars; she appeared in InStyle magazine tweaking Cate Blanchett's hem, and is said to keep actresses such as Megan Mullally in finery.

That glittery occupation gives Kourinian the wherewithal to make a lot of pigeons happy. Kourinian once told police she spends $65,000 a year on bird feed -- enough to dump 500 pounds of birdseed every day.

She has been doing this for a decade, police say, but neither they nor Dodson's small band of pigeon patrollers -- dubbed "Citizen Pigeon" -- have been able to stop her.

"When you realize how many hours and manpower it takes to catch her ... ," Dodson said. "She's got the perfect crime because who else would have the resources to do this?"

Just read the whole thing, because there's nothing I can add to the sheer bizarreness of it all. Well, okay, there is one thing I can add:

That's about right, wouldn't you say?

Posted by Charles Kuffner on May 21, 2008 to National news