Bikinis, Texas

I got nothin’.

Bikinis isn’t just a restaurant anymore. Now it’s a city, too.

Doug Guller, owner of the Austin-based bar and restaurant chain, has purchased Bankersmith, a long-abandoned town in northwestern Kendall County, renaming it Bikinis, Texas.

The purchase price and seller weren’t disclosed. Guller said the deal came together after he saw an online ad on Craigslist.

The unincorporated town is 29 miles north of Boerne, 10 miles south of Fredericksburg and six miles southwest of Luckenbach.

Guller, who also owns Austin music venues Beale Street Tavern and the Parish and the recently opened Pelons restaurant, said he plans to regularly host events in the newly renamed town, with the first one slated for this fall.

“Bikinis, Texas, will be a world-class destination, and I am thrilled to expand the Bikinis brand to include town ownership,” Guller said Tuesday. “There can’t be a better way to put Bikinis on the map, literally.”

Yes, Bikinis is what you think it is. The things you can find on Craigslist, I’ll tell you. This could be the setup for a 70s-era screwball comedy or a modern “Piranha 3D” style horror movie. You have to admire the marketing vision, I’ll say that much. Hair Balls has more.

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