July 12, 2004
Box turtles?

What is it with Republican Senators and their bizarre obsession with interspecies intercourse?

"It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right. . . . Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife."

-- Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.), advocating a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage in a speech Thursday to the Heritage Foundation.

Do you trust a man who thinks this way to amend the Constitution? Because I sure don't.

UPDATE: I join Dwight in supporting the FARM Amendment.

Posted by Charles Kuffner on July 12, 2004 to National news | TrackBack

If I recall the joke correctly, the man Laura Bush married is a post turtle, not a box turtle.

The good news is that MoveOn's effort seems to have saturated both Cornyn's and Hutchison's office phones today. Or perhaps they just shut them off. Failing to get through to them (in any sense of the word), I'm off to a bit of man-on-doggerel...

Posted by: Steve Bates on July 12, 2004 3:52 PM

I just want to know where Cornyn got what he's taking and whether I can get some too. It sounds like it gives you an interesting filter for the rest of the world.

Posted by: Ginger on July 12, 2004 4:04 PM

And it would appear that the Senator believes that turtles can speak, or they wouldn't be able to say, "I do". Senator Doolittle, I presume?

Posted by: precinct1233 on July 12, 2004 5:49 PM

I don't trust John Cornyn to mow my lawn, which I paid him to do in 1978, and it was terrible.

Posted by: norbizness on July 12, 2004 7:34 PM

You can't legally marry a box turtle anyway! They can't sign the marriage certificate. What on earth was he thinking?

Posted by: Alan W on July 13, 2004 6:40 AM

Regarding the FARM amendment link: Dear heavens, the AJC has a draconian registration policy. <beep> 'em, I don't need to read ANYTHING that badly.

Posted by: Greg Morrow on July 13, 2004 8:46 AM

Now wait a second. Recently, there was a proposed 5% tax in Missouri on, for lack of a better phrase, "consensual acts" between the species. If we allow interspecies mcouples to get married, then of the money states could raise on licenses. You wouldn't need VLTs at racetracks to solve budget problems.

OK, doctor, I think the medicine is starting to work. Look at the colors, man. :-)

Posted by: William Hughes on July 13, 2004 9:22 AM

That is an erroneous quote from the Washington Post, and they issued a correction the following day.

Posted by: Post on July 15, 2004 10:19 AM

Not exactly. The quote was in Cornyn's prepared remarks, which he provided to the Post. He didn't actually use that quote when he gave the speech, as it turned out, but it was there, and he gave it to the Post.

Posted by: Charles Kuffner on July 15, 2004 10:27 AM

Source: The Washington Post Date: July 13, 2004 Section: A Section Page: A02


The June 12 Politics column quoted Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.) discussing gay marriage in a recent speech to the Heritage Foundation. The written text released by Cornyn's office contained the quote, but his office says the senator did not include it in his delivered remarks.

Posted by: Dave on July 15, 2004 1:49 PM

Wow unbelievable, we live in a world where the union between two human beings can be compared to bestiality. So let me whip out my calculator and do some math basically:

Straight marriage > Single mother > Gay marriage = To a man humping his box turtle.

Posted by: nicole on July 31, 2004 1:19 PM

Ah, Sen. John Cornyn. I thought I smelled dandruff shampoo and monkey turds...

Posted by: Bill Hudstell on December 27, 2005 4:11 PM

[Wow unbelievable, we live in a world where the union between two human beings can be compared to bestiality.]

To Republicans and their ilk, homosexuals are not human beings. Only white, Christian, wealthy conservatives count.

Posted by: Bill Hudstell on December 27, 2005 4:14 PM