A deserving turkey

The Houston Press has given its uncoveted Turkey of the Year Award for 2006 to Shelley Sekula Gibbs. I realize there's been plenty already written about her farcical "term" in office so far, but for my money, this is the reason why she truly deserves the dishonor:

Congress may end up being in session only two weeks before DeLay's term ends, but Sekula-Gibbs is a woman with a plan.

She's told reporters she is dedicated to playing "a meaningful role" in working against higher taxes and for better health care.

But what about the second week, after she solves those problems? Again, Shelley has Big Thoughts. Like this, when a KHOU reporter asked her about the Iraq war: "If you put it in perspective, we've lost 2,800 brave men and women in Iraq but we lose over 9,000 Americans at the hands of illegal immigrants every year, according to the General Accounting Office."

A spokesman for the GAO couldn't confirm the existence of such a report, but maybe Sekula-Gibbs can find it when she's up there in D.C. (See Hair Balls, page 12).

Here's the Hair Balls entry to which they refer:

Seeing as how only 16,000 Americans are murdered each year, that seemed like those dadgum illegals were being very, very busy. So we called the GAO.

They were baffled. "I'm trying to think how she got there," says Rich Stana, the GAO's director for homeland security and justice issues.

The closest report that might fit, he says, was a snapshot count of all people incarcerated in March 2005. That report showed almost 6,000 illegal immigrants behind bars in federal, state or local facilities for murder, homicide or manslaughter.

But that includes people charged but not yet convicted, not to mention people serving time for murders committed five, ten, even 20 years ago. "Murder charges usually bring a more than one-year sentence," Stana says.

So where did Sekula-Gibbs get her 9,000-deaths-a-year figure? Not from the GAO, as it turns out. Her spokeswoman, Lisa Dimond, says "She got the information from Curtis Collier at Border Watch."

Border Watch's website features much talk about border security; it features a picture of a jet slamming into the World Trade Center; it features a quote from Teddy Roosevelt saying "There can be no 50-50 Americanism in this country. There is room here for only 100 percent Americanism, only for those who are Americans and nothing else."

What it doesn't feature is a report from the GAO saying 9,000 people a year are killed by illegal immigrants.

Rick Casey tried to track down this lie in September, when Rep. Ted Poe made the same false claim. His spokesperson claimed it was an FBI statistic. Either way, it's a shameful lie.

So congratulations, Shelley. You deserve this award, almost as much as you deserve all the bad publicity you've gotten since you got sworn in as Congresswoman For A Day. Enjoy your return to the private sector and an equally well-deserved obscurity. It can't come soon enough.

Posted by Charles Kuffner on November 25, 2006 to Show Business for Ugly People | TrackBack