It’s different when it’s his junk that’s getting touched

Oh, the irony.

The senator was in high dudgeon. “This was a come and take it moment for the state of Texas!” Dan Patrick proclaimed, trying to rally his fellow senators to stand up against the Feds, those high-handed intruders who had threatened to sue the state of Texas if Patrick’s “intrusive touching” bill became law.

To his dismay, though, the Houston lawmaker was left to face the Feds alone, abandoned not only by his fellow senators but by the lieutenant governor himself. Patrick ended up withdrawing House Bill 1937 from further consideration.

“It’s great when your lieutenant governor works against your bill while you’re on the floor,” Patrick muttered as he stalked off the Senate floor. (The lieutenant governor, of course, had a different view of the matter).

The little state/federal drama started late Tuesday night when Patrick assured Dewhurst he had the votes to bring up his bill, which would prohibit “intrusive touching” at airports and other public buildings. Patrick said the legislation, co-sponsored by state Rep. David Simpson, R-Longview, was designed to prevent security screeners from touching the genitals and other private parts when people go through checkpoints. He said the bill would classify certain invasive and inappropriate conduct used in certain searches as official oppression, a crime under Texas law.

So just to review, it’s perfectly fine for the state of Texas to require a doctor to shove a probe up a woman’s vagina before she’s allowed to have an abortion, but it’s official oppression if a TSA screener accidentally brushes a hand on Dan Patrick’s wee-wee while searching for explosives before he boards a plane. Maybe if we made TSA screeners have a sonogram before being allowed to touch anyone’s junk, that would solve the problem. Patrick’s subsequent freakout, blaming Dewhurst for the bill’s death, and the lunatic mob that showed up prepared to defend their own naughty bits against federal incursion just adds to the utter bizarreness of this episode. The Trib, Postcards, and In the Pink, which was thinking along the same lines as I was, have more.

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3 Responses to It’s different when it’s his junk that’s getting touched

  1. chasman says:

    sir dan patrick, hard at work keeping texans’ peckers out of big bad federal pockets.

  2. Eileen says:

    The Texas repubs may be detestible creeps on nearly every other occasion, but this lefty feminist is actually with them on this particular issue. We need to get over our own ‘haughty indignation’ and look at the issue closely.

    I guess that begs the question: Are you actually ok with the (in my opinion) unconstitutional violations of the 4th amendment happening at every airport, every day, which add nothing to the security of our state and wastes tons of money? The question of whether a state can check the over-reach of the federal government is a real one.

    Forget about the reflexive relishing of your enemy’s defeat. I really think on this one everyone but the fascists should be pretty united.

  3. Ron in Houston says:

    This gets my vote for best use of Dan Patrick and wee-wee in the same sentence.

    Careful now you almost made me spew my coffee.

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