Off the Kuff Rotating Header Image

Nancy Drew – I mean, Dan Patrick – and the case of the missing jersey


Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick asked the Texas Rangers and Houston Police Department to team up in finding New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady’s football jersey, which was stolen Sunday night after the Super Bowl, according to an emailed news release.

“In Texas we place a very high value on hospitality and football,” Patrick wrote. “Tom Brady’s jersey has great historical value and is already being called ‘the most valuable NFL collectable ever.’ It will likely go into the Hall of Fame one day. It is important that history does not record that it was stolen in Texas.”

According to the news release, Brady’s jersey was stolen from the Patriots’ locker room at NRG Stadium in Houston. The Patriots beat the Atlanta Falcons in Super Bowl LI, 34-28.

“I’m a Texans and Cowboys fan first, but the unquestionable success of the Super Bowl in Houston last night was a big win for our entire state, and I don’t want anything to mar that victory,” Patrick said. “Whoever took this jersey should turn it in. The Texas Rangers are on the trail.”

A spokesman for the Texas Department of Public Safety, of which the Rangers are a division, confirmed Monday afternoon that DPS has offered assistance to the Houston Police department but did not specify what that assistance entails. The Houston Police Department directed all inquiries to NFL security.

Putting aside the weaselness of claiming to be both a Texans fan and a Cowboys fan (*), don’t the Rangers have anything better to do? Even by the standards of self-aggrandizing political stunts, this is pretty egregious. Give it a rest, dude. Texas Monthly has more.

(*) I recognize that this is a thing politicians do – believe me, I’m from New York City, where Yankees/Mets and Giants/Jets and to a lesser extent Rangers/Islanders is a big deal. (**) I get it, I really do. I’ve just always believed as a sports fan that most of use have way more respect for people who stay true to their teams than we do to the panderers. Everyone knew President Obama was a White Sox fan. Even Rudy Giuliana never pretended to have an affinity for the Mets. You’d think Dan Patrick of all people would have no trouble choosing a side.

(**) The Nets were still in New Jersey when I was growing up, so Knicks/Nets wasn’t a thing. The Nets are in Brooklyn now, but it’s still not a thing.

Related Posts:


  1. Bill Shirley says:

    There was no reason to mention the Texans or the Cowboys.

  2. BillK says:

    This particular jersey could be worth upwards of $500,000. It could be a simple inside job by someone one who saw an opportunity and took it. Or seeing that it seems unlikely that it could ever be sold, it could be some serious high level caper by someone who wanted the Jersey and didn’t want to pay $500K. Seems the kind of crime the Rangers would be investigating. But Patrick still a weasel.

  3. brad m says:

    You didn’t have to reference his support of both the Texans and Cowboys to state that Patrick is a weasel. It goes without saying.

  4. C. L. says:

    Any items value is semi-commensurate/semi-consistent with what it could be sold for.. and if you could never sell this on the open market or if it’s destined for the Smithsonian or Canton HOF or whatever, it has no value save for it’s historical significance. If a painting is stolen from MFA, it’s worth $X ’cause that’s what it was insured for…I’m guessing Brady’s jersey wasn’t pre-insured.

    For goodness sakes, the Texas Rangers don’t have anything better to do ? Might as well have assigned the case to Texas Equisearch.

  5. Bill Daniels says:

    Props to Kuff for the Nancy Drew reference. I laughed!

  6. Ross says:

    Why does Danny boy want the baseball team from Arlington to look into this situation? What do they know about crime solving?