Soon, your car will need anti-virus software, if it doesn’t already.
Same for your house, too.
And your yacht, too. Is nothing sacred anymore?
I’m sure the fine people at FreedomWorks will drop their own insurance coverage in solidarity with those they are trying to convince. Right?
Benedict Cumberbatch is available to officiate your wedding. The line forms to the left.
I’m sorry, but the phrase “Madison Square Garden receives an eviction letter” just makes no sense to me.
Apparently, Grover Norquist thinks that not earning money is a rational response to paying taxes.
“The story of Ippo’s birth reads like the equine equivalent of a romance novel. The father is a zebra that was adopted by the animal reserve after he was rescued from a failing zoo. The mother is a Donkey of Amiata, an endangered animal species.”
From the “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit” department.
It’s hard to get ahead if you work in fast food.
You still need your wallet, even if you’re carrying a smartphone.
What would be the idiomatically correct collective noun of your favorite literary characters?
“Jim Crow with a smile and a request for an I.D. is still Jim Crow.”
What modern medicine might have done for some historic sports injuries.
The best Anthony Weiner joke I’ve seen so far.
“As an owner, as a member of the Player Relations Committee, as head of the Executive Council, as acting commissioner, Bud Selig has done more to violate [the Conduct Detrimental or Prejudicial to Baseball clause of the Collective Bargaining Agreement] than Alex Rodriguez, as a player, ever could.”
“Dancing to bring the rain, sacrificing a goat to get the sun to rise – it turns out these are a lot like pressing the button at the crosswalk over and over again.”
Drink ’em if you got ’em, New Yorkers.
RIP, Patricia Lyons Simon Newman. You raised a fine son, madam.
RIP, Eileen Brennan, versatile actor from “The Last Picture Show”, “Private Benjamin”, “Clue”, and many more movies.
Congressional Republicans can’t even govern on their own terms.
“It’s like me walking into a restaurant, ordering and enjoying a meal, and then when I finished just tearing up the check and saying that I was ‘digging in my heels’ about whether I should pay.”
While I totally agree with the premise of this, I must point out that I personally know people whose real actual names are Sparky, Corky, Speedy, and Merrily. All of them are successful, normal adults. That said, what he said about the letter Y.
“I’m sure that if Jack had seen you play he would have been proud to have his number worn by you, although he probably would [have] wished that it was for a team other than the Yankees,” says Rachel Robinson to Mariano Rivera.
A handy guide to things that look like feminism but aren’t.
OK folks, scandal’s over. Move along, nothing to see here.
The helium cliff is another one of those things you didn’t know you needed to be worried about.
Happy first birthday to the contraceptive mandate.
Anti-virus would not have helped the yacht Not a lot you can do about a spoofed signal that overrides the correct one.