While you’re at it, could you digitize in some better hair for me, too?

So apparently Steven Speilberg is going to digitally remove guns from the FBI agents’ hands in the upcoming re-release of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. Seems Drew Barrymore, who’s Spielberg’s godchild, asked him to do this because she’s “fanatically opposed to weapons of any kind”.

Man, you can hear the NRA propaganda machine whir into action from here. How often do they get a juicy straight line like that? I can’t believe Glenn Reynolds isn’t peeing his pants over this, but so far I’ve not seen a mention from him.

One thing that we should keep clear before any feeding frenzy occurs. “E.T.” is a movie. It was made by Steven Spielberg. It’s his work of art, for some value of the word “art”. He has the incontrovertible right to do what he wants with his art. If he wants to add in deleted scenes, update F/X with newer technogadgets, or digitize out guns, that’s his right. He could digitize in clown makeup for Dee Wallace, or replace the six-year-old Drew Barrymore with the version that got nekkid in Playboy if he wants. The fact that he chose to remove the guns may well be ridiculous and worthy of whatever razzing he gets for it, but it doesn’t mean Rosie O’Donnell is gonna break down your door and confiscate your guns. Just give it a snort of derision and organize a Joe Bob Briggs Drive-In Movie Festival, and the world will continue to spin on its axis.

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