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Did you study for that urine test?

Oh. My. God.

LUBBOCK — Some West Texas men on probation are in trouble again, this time for allegedly using the Whizzinator to help them pass court-ordered urinalysis tests.

In the past six months, five men on probation were caught using a realistic-looking prosthesis that dispenses synthetic, drug-free urine, Lubbock County sheriff’s officials said. One was caught by an alert officer who heard something unusual in the restroom.

“A body part when it’s up against a plastic cup isn’t going to go ‘clink,’ ” said Tom Madigan, interim assistant director of the Lubbock County adult probation office.

Truer words have never been spoken.

The device, reusable and available in five flesh colors, is sold by California-based Puck Technology for $150. A prosthetic penis is attached to an undergarment resembling a jock strap and connects to a pouch containing dehydrated urine. Water is added to the pouch, and a heat pack can be attached to keep the urine close to body temperature.

Company owner Dennis Catalano has sold the device and one designed for women for about four years, mainly through an Internet site. He said what he does is legal.

“How people choose to use it is beyond our control,” he said. “But we manufacture this and sell it for people who believe we still have a semblance of privacy in this country.”

If you want to know more about The Whizzinator, you can read this AlterNet story. The paragraph on how their prostheses are made is a hoot. Isn’t it nice to know that the libertarian spirit is alive and well somewhere?

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3 Comments

  1. Steve Bates says:

    ROTFLM*O… until I thought of this: what comes next? does every suspect get a pre-whizz grope by a cop, just to make sure everything is real?

  2. William Hughes says:

    I’m impressed by the scientific research that went into the development of this product. Now, for the new and improved “Whizzinator 2”, can we expect a clink-free prothesis? 😉

  3. Steve Bates says:

    Whizzinator 2

    Didn’t Ahnuld star in that?