Avast, ye scurvy dogs! Once again, it’s time for National Talk Like A Pirate Day. There must be a lot of interest in this holiday because I’m getting a pirate-shipload of Google referrals for last year’s post on the topic, and because I can’t get to the NTLAPD web page right now. You can still read the Dave Barry column that got these guys way more publicity than they ever imagined, you can visit the British headquarters for pirate talk, which includes this handy set of pirate-themed cellphone ringtones, and of course there’s The Poor Man’s rapper-to-pirate translation table.
So put on your eyepatch, crack open a bottle of rum, and let your inner Long John Silver come out for the day. It’s fun for the whole family. Now be on with ye before I have ye keelhauled!
Ahoy, sea dog! If I don’t speak the proper tongue, may I be made to walk the plank and sink down to Davy Jones Locker.
(Not to be confused with Davy Jones of Monkees fame) 😉
In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day, here is the pirate song written by Robert Lewis Stevenson in 1881.
 Fifteen men on a dead man’s chestÂ
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil be done for the restÂ
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
The mate was fixed by the bos’n’s pike
The bos’n’ brained with a markin spike andÂ
Cookey’s throat was marked belike It
Had been gripped by fingers ten andÂ
There they lay all good dead men like
Break o’ day in a boozing ken__Â
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum
Fifteen men of a whole ship’s listÂ
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum
Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!Â
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
The skipper lay with his nob in gore where theÂ
Scullion’s axe his cheek had shore
And the scullion he was stabbed times four andÂ
There he lay and the soggy skies
Dripped all day in up-staring eyes at
Murk sunset and at foul sur-prise  Â
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Fifteen men of ‘em stiff and starkÂ
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Ten of the crew had the murder markÂ
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
‘Twas a cutlass swipe or and ounce of lead or aÂ
Yawning hole in a battered head
and the scuppers glut with a yawning red andÂ
There they lay aye damn my eyes
All lookouts clapped on par – a – dise all
Souls bound just con – tra – ri – wise  Â
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Fifteen men of ‘em good and trueÂ
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Every man Jack could ha’ sailed with old PewÂ
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
There was chest on chest of Spanish gold with aÂ
Ton of plate in the middle hold
And the cabins riot with stuff un told AsÂ
They lay there that had took the plum
With a sightless glare and their lips struck dumb
While we shared all by the rule of thumb Â
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Fifteen men of a dead man’s chestÂ
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the restÂ
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
We wrapped ‘em all in a mains’l tight withÂ
Twice ten turns of a hausers bight
And we heaved ‘em over and out of sight with aÂ
Yo heave ho and fare you well
And a sullen plunge in a sullen swell
Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell Â
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
In keeping with the theme of the day, I offer this tidbit: the place for midnight rations on the Naval Base in Yokosuka, Japan c. 1972-1974 was proudly called “Davy Jones Locker.” Alas, no rum on offer; just greasy bacon, sausage and eggs.
This soccer score came in from the BBC:
Bournemouth Gynecologists 20
Watford Long John Silver Impersonators 0
The preceding was brought to you by Monty Python and the letter “R”
All together now: “Arr!”