The Troubles of Being Tiffany

My wife’s name is Tiffany. She’s a graduate of Georgetown University. She holds a doctorate in Science and Technology Policy from The University of Manchester. She’s a sweet, intelligent, serious person.

And she’s got a name which is routinely and unfortunately associated with bimbos and bitches. Jake’s ditsy girlfriend on Once and Again is named Tiffany. Luann’s arch-nemesis is named Tiffany. And in today’s Doonesbury we discover that Jim Andrews’ third trophy wife is named Tiffany.

It’s just not fair. Anyone know if there’s a support group for this sort of thing?

Even worse, Tiffany tells me, is that when she was a kid there were no personalized chotchkes with the name “Tiffany” on them. You know, like the little license plates with a name on them that kids put on their bicycles. There were no “Tiffany” license plates to be found when Tiffany was a kid. Once all the kids in the extended family were given personalized toothbrushes. No problem for her sister Pamela or her cousins Jennifer and Vanessa, but hers had to have her middle name Ann on it because there were no Tiffany toothbrushes.

In short, my wife was Tiffany before it was cool.

UPDATE: Larry reminds me that I’ve overlooked perhaps the most famous Tiffany, namely the teenage pop singer from the 80s. Apparently, the now-fully-grown-up Tiffany is featured in next month’s Playboy. I don’t think I can add anything to that.

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