Category Archives: General snarkiness

The MOB versus Mike Miles

Presented for all the obvious reasons. Rice University’s marching band mocked state-appointed Houston ISD Superintendent Mike Miles during their halftime show at Saturday’s football game against Texas Southern University. The small band, known as The Mob, performed a brief “Austin … Continue reading

Posted in General snarkiness, Other sports, School days | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Run, Kenny, run!

Peak Ken Paxton. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton fled his home in a truck driven by his wife, state Sen. Angela Paxton, to avoid being served a subpoena Monday, according to an affidavit filed in federal court. Ernesto Martin Herrera, a … Continue reading

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Your Harris County Republican Party

What can one possibly say? Keith Nielsen has taken office as the chairman of the Harris County GOP, despite saying he would not do so earlier this summer after facing backlash to an image he posted on Facebook juxtaposing a … Continue reading

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The GOP convention is off to a great start

Ain’t technology great? Getting the virtual state convention up and running “has not been a walk in the park,” said Republican Party of Texas Chair James Dickey in a Facebook Live chat Wednesday evening. Glitches related to credentialing had yet … Continue reading

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From the “Live by the leaked audio, die by the leaked audio” department

Oh, the irony. Two staffers for the hardline conservative group Empower Texans have been caught on an audio recording disparaging Gov. Greg Abbott with profanity and joking about his wheelchair use. Upon the comments surfacing Friday morning, Abbott’s office and … Continue reading

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Where do they find these people?

News item: Five Texas GOP county leaders share racist Facebook posts, including one juxtaposing an MLK quote with a banana. Republican leaders in five Texas counties shared racist Facebook posts, some of which also floated conspiracy theories, leading Gov. Greg … Continue reading

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“There are more important things than living”

Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, everybody. After facing intense criticism for suggesting on Fox News last month that he’d rather perish from the new coronavirus than see instability in the state’s economic system, Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick said last night that … Continue reading

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Only the megadonors can save us now

Actual headline, from an actual Houston Chronicle story: Dallas megadonor leads secret team charged with carrying out Dan Patrick’s plan to restart economy Remember how I said that the story of Steve Stockman and his supporters using the cover of … Continue reading

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Oh God, I have to mention Tony Buzbee again

There goes one New Year’s resolution. There is a plate of crawfish on the table in front of Tony Buzbee, who has substituted his jeans-and-jacket campaign garb for a baby blue sweatshirt and Texas A&M baseball cap. The setting: Crawfish … Continue reading

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Pete Sessions’ fine whine

There ain’t enough cheese in the entire state of Wisconsin to accompany this. Rep. Pete Sessions’ campaign might be over. But he isn’t over it. The Dallas Republican is still smoldering about the circumstances that led to his decisive loss … Continue reading

Posted in Election 2018, General snarkiness | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Greg Abbott, Russian stooge

Heck of a job, Greggie. A former director of the CIA and NSA said Wednesday that hysteria in Texas over a 2015 U.S. military training exercise called Jade Helm was fueled by Russians wanting to dominate “the information space,” and … Continue reading

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Collins responds to Farenthold

Please keep this up forever. On Monday, Rep. Blake Farenthold (R-TX) offered a novel — and sexist — explanation and solution for the Republican health care bill’s struggles: He blamed “some female senators from the Northeast” for holding up the … Continue reading

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You’re never so weak as when you try to act tough

Blake Farenthold, ladies and gentlemen: A Texas GOP congressman says if the three female Republican senators who oppose a bill repealing Obamacare were men from South Texas, he might challenge them to a duel. “The fact that the Senate does … Continue reading

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Yes, m’lord

I totally should bid on this. All it takes to be a noble – to be called “m’Lord” or “m’Lady” – is money. And for Texans interested in owning a noble title, a silent auction in London holds an extra … Continue reading

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The “Man’s Right To Know” Act

This is some high-quality trolling. Texas State Rep. Jessica Farrar, D-Houston, filed a bill Friday that would penalize men for “unregulated masturbatory emissions.” The satirical House Bill 4260 would encourage men to remain “fully abstinent” and only allow the “occasional … Continue reading

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I stand with Ahmed

Jesus H. Christ on a cracker. Ahmed Mohamed — who makes his own radios and repairs his own go-kart — hoped to impress his teachers when he brought a homemade clock to MacArthur High on Monday. Instead, the school phoned … Continue reading

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As if we needed a reminder that Sid Miller is an idiot

We got one anyway. Don’t expect Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller to apologize over a social media post that appeared to call for the atomic bombing of “the Muslim world” – despite an outcry from critics. Miller, who is currently … Continue reading

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It’s called “social media”, Ted

Ted Cruz is shocked, shocked to learn that his silly little Facebook poll got shared with some people who weren’t supposed to answer it. An old maxim about the law – U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz’s chosen profession – holds that … Continue reading

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Horse’s head sold separately

Shorter John Cornyn: “Unless President Obama gives us Republicans everything we want – and we insist that he be the one to come up with the list of things that we want, so we can attack him for it in … Continue reading

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You weren’t supposed to be mad at me!

Oh, the humanity! Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst on Friday continued to fight a battle that he had lost three days before when Ted Cruz defeated him for the Republican U.S. Senate nomination. Cruz and his allies had effectively cast Dewhurst … Continue reading

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Mockery is the best medicine

Business Insider comes across the Facebook fun. Women aren’t too happy with Rick Perry’s stance on family planning funding. Today, they let him know the best way they could, with some well-directed Internet snark. Posts asking Perry’s advice about everything … Continue reading

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Nobody cares more about caribou nookie than Louie Gohmert

If that headline doesn’t make sense to you, go read this. Once you’ve regained your senses, go read what Harold Cook has to say about it. The standard beverage warning is in effect. You’re welcome.

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When the landed gentry squabble

Am I a bad person for thinking this is funny? Was it sewer sabotage or self-defense? That was the question hanging in the genteel air of two of Houston’s toniest suburbs [last] Thursday after Hunters Creek Village city officials verbally … Continue reading

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From the “Things I will not be spending my money on” department

This arrived in the mail last week: I have no idea from which mailing list they bought my name. Suffice it to say it was not money well spent on their part. I got a good laugh out of it, … Continue reading

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You’ve got to grab those opportunities where you can

I just have one question about this: Some area artists are making old look new by featuring recycled materials in their work. Their pieces, showcased Saturday at the Green Arts Festival at the Talento Bilingue de Houston in the East … Continue reading

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Saturday video break: This is an Olympics event I could win

I do have a talent for some things: I’d need to work on my speed, however.

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They like him! They really like him!

Here’s your heartwarming story for the week. The Republican Party of Fort Bend County Executive Committee has unanimously passed a resolution in support of former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay expressing “appreciation for his tireless service to our community, the … Continue reading

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In which I become a bit player in a Metro lawsuit

So I got an email on Friday from Chron reporter Mike Snyder, asking me if I had done an interview with former Metro Chair David Wolff. Apparently, there were some new documents filed in the lawsuit against Metro by its … Continue reading

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Leo Berman addresses the serious, pressing needs

Elect crazy people, get crazy public policy. Crazy in, crazy out. State Rep. Leo Berman, R-Tyler, introduced a bill on Tuesday that would require future presidential and vice-presidential candidates to provide the Texas secretary of state with “the original birth … Continue reading

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A modest theory

I have become convinced that fifty or sixty years ago, a number of terror cells infiltrated the US and impregnated a bunch of women with babies who were groomed from birth to become utter morons who would destroy the country … Continue reading

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Turkey of the Year 2009

Among other things, the Thanksgiving season signals the arrival of year end lists – Top Ten this and that, Best Of, Worst Of, you name it. The local highlight is the Houston Press’ annual Turkey of the Year award, which … Continue reading

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We hate you! Now do a better job!

Actions do have consequences, even to teabaggers. You may have heard that GOP Rep. Kevin Brady, staunch tea partier, is protesting that the taxpayer-funded D.C. Metro didn’t adequately prepare for the anti-government 9/12 rally. He’s even suggesting Metro’s failure to … Continue reading

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The sanctity of marriage personified

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I have so much respect for The Onion for its ability to stay ahead of the satire curve. Rudy Giuliani is declaring war on gay marriage — vowing to use his … Continue reading Continue reading

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The sanctity of marriage personified

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I have so much respect for The Onion for its ability to stay ahead of the satire curve. Rudy Giuliani is declaring war on gay marriage — vowing to use his … Continue reading

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