It’s hard to fully appreciate the horror that is Britney Spears’ new movie Crossroads. I have a really hard time wrapping my mind around this professional virgin pop singer who gets to star in her very own Mary Sue. How much more can we be expected to endure?
But it occurred to me this morning that if you hate all things Britney, perhaps her making a movie is the best thing to happen. Think about all of the other annoying pop singers who made awful, critically panned and financially disastrous movies, and how many of them essentially disappeared from the limelight afterwards. Condsider: Has Vanilla Ice done anything since Cool as Ice? Didn’t Mariah Carey have a breakdown and get released from her recording contract after Glitter came out? Has anyone seen Andrew Dice Clay since The Adventures of Ford Fairlane? Okay, technically Dice wasn’t a pop singer but geez was he annoying.
This method isn’t perfect, I’ll admit. Whitney Houston survived The Bodyguard, though it’s been rough for Kevin Costner since then (not that this is a bad thing). Mandy Moore will probably survive A Walk to Remember. But there’s hope, and that’s all that we can ask for.
In the meantime, content yourself with this incredibly funny and biting review from MaryAnn Johanson aka the Flick Filosopher, from whom I shamelessly borrowed the title of this blog entry.