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February 6th, 2002:

The readers strike back

Salon’s readers (mostly) give Katherine Mieszkowski the business for her sweeping generalizations of Houston. Ginger notes something we both missed the first time around, that Mieszkowski hails from Clear Lake. And as she notes, that explains a lot.

Krishna Krishna

A dozen Hare Krisha congregations are filing for bankruptcy. I was going to make a cheap Arthur Anderson joke about this, but the Chapter 11 filing is in response to a lawsuit that alleges sexual and emotional abuse of children, so it’s not really funny.

Julia Child’s kitchen

Julia Child’s kitchen is going to the Smithsonian, while the legendary chef moves into a retirement community in Southern California. If they really want to honor her life, the kitchen should be fully operational and properly staffed at all times.

The long arm of the law

The chief of police in West University Place, a small incorporated city within Houston, will be docked two weeks’ pay for surfing naughty web sites at work. That’s $3000 in pay that he’ll be forfeiting. What really makes that hurt is this:

“[At] the work station in the police chief’s office, there was a pattern that showed there were frequent visits to these sites during a six-day period,” [the West University Place city manager] said.

According to the surveillance software, [he] made 34 visits to cybersex sites, spending about 3.4 minutes a day perusing porn.

Damn. That’s $3000 for 20 minutes, or $150 per minute. Even Miss Cleo doesn’t charge that much.

The Troubles of Being Tiffany

My wife’s name is Tiffany. She’s a graduate of Georgetown University. She holds a doctorate in Science and Technology Policy from The University of Manchester. She’s a sweet, intelligent, serious person.

And she’s got a name which is routinely and unfortunately associated with bimbos and bitches. Jake’s ditsy girlfriend on Once and Again is named Tiffany. Luann’s arch-nemesis is named Tiffany. And in today’s Doonesbury we discover that Jim Andrews’ third trophy wife is named Tiffany.

It’s just not fair. Anyone know if there’s a support group for this sort of thing?

Even worse, Tiffany tells me, is that when she was a kid there were no personalized chotchkes with the name “Tiffany” on them. You know, like the little license plates with a name on them that kids put on their bicycles. There were no “Tiffany” license plates to be found when Tiffany was a kid. Once all the kids in the extended family were given personalized toothbrushes. No problem for her sister Pamela or her cousins Jennifer and Vanessa, but hers had to have her middle name Ann on it because there were no Tiffany toothbrushes.

In short, my wife was Tiffany before it was cool.

UPDATE: Larry reminds me that I’ve overlooked perhaps the most famous Tiffany, namely the teenage pop singer from the 80s. Apparently, the now-fully-grown-up Tiffany is featured in next month’s Playboy. I don’t think I can add anything to that.