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September 23rd, 2002:

Buffy: Fuggeddaboutit!

This post is part of a Buffy Blog Burst. Go check out the index of posts, they’re all worth reading.

I’ve been racking my brain over what to write for the Buffy Blog Burst. In a show that’s already had alternate universes, the death and resurrection of the lead character, a musical, and the hint that the whole thing might just be a delusion, what new angle can you take?

Inspiration finally came while watching another show that I hate to miss, The Sopranos. Actually, all it took was the theme song. Look at these lyrics:

You woke up this morning
Got yourself a gun,
Mama always said you’d be
The Chosen One.

She said: You’re one in a million
You’ve got to burn to shine,
But you were born under a bad sign,
With a blue moon in your eyes.

You woke up this morning
All the love has gone,
Your Papa never told you
About right and wrong.

But you’re looking good, baby,
I believe you’re feeling fine,(shame about it),
Born under a bad sign
With a blue moon in your eyes.

You woke up this morning
The world turned upside down,
Thing’s ain’t been the same
Since the Blues walked into town.

But you’re one in a million
You’ve got that shotgun shine.
Born under a bad sign,
With a blue moon in your eyes.

The Chosen One? One in a million? Father issues? Woke up one morning to find that the world wasn’t what you thought it was? Hints of violence? Catchy hook and irresistable bass line? Are we sure these are two different shows?

Consider the similarities between the two shows:

  • Blood and gore
  • Visions of hell (remember when Christopher got shot?)
  • Funny accents (Spike, Dru, and Giles on Buffy, pretty much the whole cast on Sopranos)
  • Annoying teenage girl (Dawn and Meadow)
  • Bad hair (Anya and Willow on Buffy, Adriana and Silvio on Sopranos)

I could go on, but you get the point.

There’s a more serious way in which the two shows are similar, and I’m not talking about the hysterical reaction that certain killjoy groups have for them. I’m talking about their inevitable end, which is surely either this season or next. There’s basically only two possible endings: Death or some form of retirement for the lead character. Since death hasn’t stopped Buffy before, it’s unlikely to be the final act in the future. I don’t know what retirement means for her – it surely means either “prison” or “witness protection program” for Tony Soprano – unless the Council of Watchers can find a way to call forth a new Slayer or get Faith sprung from the joint. They’ll figure something out, I guess.

That’s too deep to contemplate right now. I want to see what the new Sunnydale High School looks like. I want to see how Spike handles having a soul. I want to see if Xander can make it up to Anya for dumping her at the altar, and if Anya can ever forgive him. Is it Tuesday yet?

Why I voted for Al Gore in 2000

This is the sort of speech I want to hear from my President. It’s why I voted for Gore in 2000 and why he’s the frontrunner for my vote in 2004.

Link via O-Dub.

Fellow traveller

I just got a nice note from Tom Spencer, who wondered if I was the Charles Kuffner that he went to college with. I am, and I’m glad to hear that an old classmate is a fellow traveller. Tom’s a history professor at Northwest Missouri State University, and as I recall, a pretty good trombone player. I commend you to check him out.

There but for the grace of God…

The main reason why I haven’t been too harsh on Florida for its most recent election snafus is because it could happen here just as easily. I’ve used the eSlate voting machines – I’m one of those annoying people who does early voting – and while I have no qualms with how they’ve been rolled out and explained to users, I do have a problem with the fact that they don’t create a hardcopy of the votes they record. When (not if) we have a contested election like Reno/McBride, we better hope that no votes have disappeared from the system.

My first move will be to have Bud Selig arrested

If Larry Simon wins that FX American Candidate show, he’s going to have an all blogger cabinet. I’m in line for Secretary of Commerce. Surely I can do a better job than that girly-boy Don Evans.

(Note: The fact that I knew Don Evans was Commerce Secretary without having to resort to Google should be sufficient qualifications, don’t you think?)

Meantime, take a look at Larry’s platform. He’s sure to piss you off eventually.

Get yer Enron surplus items here

There will be a big auction of surplus Enron items this Wednesday at the Radisson Astrodome, which is quite near where I work. All sorts of interesting this will be available:

The nearly 5-foot tilted E being auctioned by Enron this week would be a real conversation piece at Matt Mitchell’s Internet café — if he could afford it.

“I think that will be one of the hottest items out there,” the former Enron employee said. “I’d be willing to put a couple of hundred on it myself, but I know it will be much higher than that.”

No, it’s not the big crooked E that’s outside the office building on Smith Street. That one’s not for sale.

Among the oddities up for sale are a number of fake, wooden flintlock pistols Enron gave away at trade shows and 18-inch replicas of three-masted tall ships.

“They’re nonworking,” Palmer said of the flintlock look-alikes. “They are at least 10 years old.”

The stands that come with the pistols are stamped “Enron Gas Services Corp.,” a name that hasn’t been used since the early ’90s.


There are Foosball and air hockey tables, as well as an entire basketball system still in the box it came in.

Arrayed in formation are hundreds of Herman Miller Aeron chairs, which retail for as much as $800 each.

Mmm…Foosball…Air hockey…I think I may sneak over there on Wednesday morning. Surely we can find room for an air hockey table.